Talking To Kids About MS When a Parent Is Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

Going Along with "Anonymous Friday" (Issues families face because of MS". There was a comment made Re: Asking her if she was going to die from Multiple Sclerosis

I commented on this subject but I feel it needs to be talked about. So this is going to be about talking to kids about MS when a parent is diagnosed with MS.

This is my own story and opinion!

When I was in the middle of my first major exacerbation before I was officially diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. My children were 14,11, and almost 8. I was constantly going in for tests and when I wasn't at the Doctor's or Hospitals I was in bed. My kids new something was very wrong and were very scared as to what was going on with their Mom. Once the doctors started suspecting Multiple Sclerosis we now had a name to put reason to the symptoms. I too didn't know anything about MS and I was in such denial that I refused to start researching it. I also have learned in the past with my own two son's past medical problems that Doctors throw names out there and you get all worked up and worried only to find that they were wrong. I don't remember ever telling the kids that the Doctors were thinking that I had MS and maybe I didn't. Kids know when something is wrong and they tune in to everything.

Once we finally got the diagnosis. Of course my reaction went directly to relief that there was an answer but instantly to denial. I don't know if this is the case with all MS'ers but I was given the diagnosis and then set free. Set free to read about and learn about MS. I have already explained in the past that I couldn't understand it so I never new how to even explain it to my kids or even to others. My Mom was the one that I overheard describing what MS does and she did it so well that ironically the kids understood it at the same time I understood it. Now of course she didn't go into details about what can do to me and what to expect but at least explained how our antibodies attack our central nervous system all along using a banana as her example. She gave just enough info that the kids understood what they needed to understand.

It wasn't till a couple months into the disease that one by one my kids would just show up in my bed and lay there staring at me or holding my hand and eventually the question would come up. "Mom, are you going to die from this disease"? Of course every parent is going to respond with "NO!!" Because our job as parents is to protect our children. To be honest though, I really didn't know enough about MS at that point so I didn't believe that that was even a possibility.

We as a family dealt with a lot of questions and comments from Family and Friends. Some were normal questions and some were cruel or stupid comments. By this time I had surrounded myself with people I had met online that also had MS that were so wonderful and had good answers to the questions we as a family needed to have answered. It made things easier for us to explain to others. I gave up trying to defend myself to ignorant comments or trying to repeatedly explain the same things to the same people over and over again.

My kids on the other hand were dealing with some very cruel comments from there peers. Comments like "Your Mom is Retarded because she falls all the time" along with some other very cruel comments like this.

Kids are very protective of their parents. No matter what age they are.
Typical questions kids have when their parents are diagnosed with MS or at least my kids are:

1) Will you die from this?
2) Is it contagious?
3) Will I get this disease?
4) Will it go away?
5) Why can't the doctors fix you?

As much as we as try to find ways to answer such questions along with anymore that they might come up with. Sometimes they will come up with questions that we don't even have the answers for. It is ok to say "I don't know the answer to that questions but I will talk to the Doctors and find out the answer".

Sometimes these questions come at a time that you may be doing bad and so it is important to have someone else (spouse, family member, or close friend of the family) help during these times. I know that the way I handled talking to my kids is that I had one day for each of my children that I kept them home and had them lay in bed with me and we talked. I tried to answer questions they had along with just spending one on one time reassuring them that NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME. I WAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM.

It worked for them. Being able to answer their questions allowed them to handle comments and questions from their peers. Since then in the last few years my daughter has done many research papers on this disease and in her own personal experience the the affects and misconceptions of MS. It is amazing to me that my daughter understands MS more than most people. My sons on the other hand haven't gone as far as doing research papers but have done talks about MS to their friends and in class about MS.

We did have an issue happen about a year ago.
First you need to understand that my family (kids) and I have a very close and open relationship. I have always told them that they can come to me about anything. Good or Bad. I may not be happy with a decision they may make but I along with their Dad are always there for them. With that said my kids love to be at home. Their friends love being at our house. Which is odd to me being that when I was younger I did everything to be away from my home. I love that they prefer to be at our house with their friends. Their friends have become part of their family. I reprimand them as a parent when they do something stupid but I also listen and talk to them as I do my own kids.

Last year two different friends from two different families here in our little rinky dink town died. The children of those families were also friends of my kids. It just happens that both of those parents had MS. So my 3 children along with their friends automatically became scared that it was going to happen to me. At the same time they all agreed to not say anything about it to me because they felt they were protecting me form hearing about it. I happened to be sitting at the table with a house full of kids and they were all making a big breakfast. As I went to take a sip of my coffee one of the kids slipped and made a comment about one of the parents dying. I of course asked how that happened and the house went silent. I looked around the room as though what I just asked must not have actually come out of my mouth. Then my oldest son came over by me and said that the father had died and he had MS. I sat there quietly and took another sip of my coffee trying desperately to think of what to say but also trying to absorb what they just told me and I would be lying if it didn't put a little fear into me. I then responded with." I realize that this father had MS but how did he die"? One of my "borrowed" kids then said the father had lost his balance and fell hitting his head on the corner of the fireplace mantle and he laid there unconscious bleeding and by the time the Mom came home he had bleed to death". I explained of course that it can happen to anyone. It wasn't the MS that actually killed him. It was the fall. Yes we with MS have balance problems but that doesn't mean that we will die because of it. Well, then another "borrowed" kid said about the other friend's Mom that had MS and again the son found his Mom when he came home from somewhere and she too was already gone. Nobody knew the answer as to what actually she died from. All they knew was that she too had MS. I asked them when this all happened and they said both parents died at least a month earlier. I took another sip of my coffee and called a meeting in the other room and told all children that I was going to talk and they all needed to listen and try to understand what I was going to say.

Here is basically how it went:
Yes both of the parents had MS but we know that MS did not kill the father and we don't know what happened to the other friend's mother. But everyone of you have been carrying this fear for 4-6 weeks when all they needed to do was talk to me. I appreciate them being protective of me and not wanting me to be scared. Truth is that yes there are some MS'ers that have tragically died from complications of Multiple sclerosis but it does not happen in most cases. The typical things is that we may end up in a wheel chair or our vision can go along with other things but the Doctor's and Scientist's are working very hard to finding a cure for this disease and they are close. But they are never ever to try to protect me by not coming to me and talking about what they know or heard.

To sum this up... It is my opinion that the best things we can do for our children is to keep the lines of communications open and be there to answer their questions. It is ok to say that we don't know but then you can get the answer from your doctors or someone else that may have the answer. And then most importantly relay that answer to your kids. Dealing with a Mom or Dad that has MS is scary enough. the more they know and understand takes that fear away and lets them go on with life and being kids.
Here are some websites that I have found that are good for helping kids of all ages to understand MS and cope with the feelings they have.

http://www.chumsweb.org/

http://www.msworld.org/html/keep_smyelin.htm

http://www.nationalmssociety.org/multimedia-library/kids-keep-smyelin/index.aspx

Anonymous Friday - What Issues Do FAMILIES Face Because of MS?

Anonymous Friday - What issues do FAMILIES face because of MS?

I am going to try something different and we will see how this goes over.

Well, I have been pretty open with the issues my FAMILY and I have faced since being diagnosed with MS.

This about issues that FAMILIES go through when one of the PARENTS have MS and how you have overcome them or how they still affect your family. This can be answered by the person with MS but also by anyone that has a parent with MS.

Hopefully, a lot of people will take part in this because I believe it will be helpful to others dealing with the same issues.

By answering Anonymously everyone can be honest and open. If you have never done this before when you go to comment after you type your comment it asks you if you want to answer with your BLOGGER I.D. or Anonymously. Click Anonymous. But don't worry if you forget I will copy and paste it in for you as Anonymous.

Anonymous Friday - What Issues Do COUPLES Face Because of MS???

Anonymous Friday - What issues do COUPLES face because of MS?

I am going to try something different and we will see how this goes over.

Well, I have been pretty open with the issues my husband and I have faced since being diagnosed with MS. Of course I know there are the issues that also affect families.
This one is going to be only about issues that COUPLES go through when one of them has MS and how you have overcome them or how they still affect you. This can be answered by the person with MS but also the loved ones.

Hopefully, a lot of people will take part in this because I believe it will be helpful to others dealing with the same issues.

By answering Anonymously everyone can be honest and open. If you have never done this before when you go to comment after you type your comment it asks you if you want to answer with your BLOGGER I.D. or Anonymously. Click Anonymous. But don't worry if you forget I will copy and paste it in for you as Anonymous.

MS Weekly Survey Update and also Update on how my week is going.

Thank You Everyone for taking part in the current poll. If you haven't done so please do. I am finding it very interesting to see the results each day...At this point Fatigue is the most common symptom affecting MSers on a daily basis. Keep checking in to follow the results. Instead of putting new answers just click on "results".

A special thank you to Kimberly for helping refer people to take the poll.

I am trying to think of the next interesting poll to add to the collection for next week. I would like it to be something that is helpful or interesting for MSers and caregivers as well and probably most importantly to the public so that we can help teach them what it is we go through, or better put, what MS does to us but also what MS is. If anyone has suggestions as to the next poll or future polls please feel free to send me the topic idea.

Also if you send me something that you don't want posted but you want me to use in some way or another just send me a post and tell me not to post it. I promise I would never post it.

UPDATE-
As for me I don't have a clue why I am up at 5:00 in the morning, but I am. I am enjoying my coffee before the family wakes up and it becomes a mad rush to the bathroom and to the breakfast table and searching for shoes and school bags and then of course out the door to the bus.

At that point it is my turn to do the mad rush just like them so I can get to work.
I have to say that I am not allowing things or CERTAIN PEOPLE to "STRESS" me at work. I am angry at them for what they are doing daily but in my eyes there is a difference. I can not understand how grown adult men can act like 4 year old's. I know that I dont work for one of them but the other one still works with us. And those 2 are a team. They continue to do vicious and malicious things in hopes to stress me to the point of MS flaring up so that I either quit or can't come into work and get fired. My current boss is awesome and I don't have to worry about getting fired. So like I said I don't feel I am stressed just angry.

That's my wonderful update... I hope everyone has a wonderful Tuesday!!!!

A good website I found that describes the different symptoms
http://www.themcfox.com/multiple-sclerosis/ms-symptoms/index.html

A weekly survey!! Please take part. - We can all spread awareness and information by doing this.

I am going to try something new that will be helpful to all MSers of all stages, Caregivers, and also to the public. Here is how it will work. The Survey is Anonymous and if you click "OTHER" then please feel free to post what other symptoms you deal with daily. When you post do it Anonymously. This way nobody knows who you are so you can speak freely. Based on the answers this will allow me to post a new survey for next week. If you have a question you would like me to ask in a poll then send me an e-mail and I will ask that in a poll.

We all want to get the Awareness spread and we all want people to understand what MS does to us so this might be the way to do it.

Caregivers can partake in the polls also. Some polls will directly be posted to the "caregivers" but sometimes our fellow MSers can not answer the questions themselves due to there progression. So please feel free to answer for them.

Please help spread the word to take part in the surveys!!!

Thank You and lets see try to make this work.

The "MS War" and The "Real World"

This is a long one!!!!

Last night as I laid in bed thinking through this last week. I realized that my last 4 months dealing with the MS exacerbation, I think, has finally come to an end.

About 3 weeks ago I was still continuing to battle new symptoms. I really was getting to the point of giving in and calling the Dr. and telling him to give me the steroid treatment. I know that if I would have called 3 or 4 months ago this would have ended a long time ago. At least it most likely would have ended. Some people get the steroid tx and and don't have side effects. I have terrible side effect along with an additional 35# weight gain. I chose not to get the steroids because for the first few months it wasn't affecting my vision and I wasn't nauseated and the vertigo wasn't here.

Here is what all was affected and mostly in the chronological order:
- Intestinal shut down (that lasted the whole 4 months)
- Bladder incontinence
- Some memory issues
- Severe rolling muscle spasms (worse than my normal horrible symptoms)
- Fatigue (way more then normal)
- burning and pickling sensations (throughout my body not just my neck and arms)
- Tendon pain in arms and legs
- Both legs having the tight band feeling and a lot of pain (normally just 1 leg)
Depression ( I believe just from exhaustion from the MS Battle)
- Vision - (not blurred or double but seeing color then black and white then color and so on.
- Bowel incontinence ( it's either feast or famin)
- hearing issues- hearing noises or not able to hear well at all (still have them but not as bad)
-Eye Twitching in left eye for almost a month and still continuing

Ok I think that is about it.

At one point yesterday when I was leaving early to go home and take a nap before our friends were going to come over. My husband's Dad made a comment about how they never see me and hadn't seen me in four months. Referring that I am avoiding them. I of course became defensive and said "I have been fighting this frick'n MS attack. All I do is work and sleep and try to take care of the kids." He didn't seem to get it. That probably has to do with the fact that my husband, when asked hows Tara doing? Responds with "she's doing good". So nobody really understands or gets it.

Yesterday was the first time I had spent time with my husband's family and also friends. It felt great!!! (Yes I am exhausted) But it made me think........

Living with MS is a battle in itself but when going through an exacerbation, It is a "Serious War". It's a serious war and there are all these enemies and you are the only person able to fight this war. The problem with this is that it is a secret war not published on TV or in the news. It is a war in your body. It is exhausting!! You are attacking and fighting at the same time you are healing your wounds and sleeping when you can. YOU ARE ALONE AGAINST ALL THE ENEMIES!!!
And then one day without any notice the enemies surrender and the war is over.... At least until the next war begins.

These "WARS" consume you during the time it is going on. Most times you really aren't even noticing what is going on in the "real world" or in "reality" because in your world you are in WAR!!! You don't have the ability to take in the "reality". But at the same time you are in "WAR" you are also having to deal with the "Real World" bills, stress, work, kids, etc...Along with that you have to defend yourself against comments being made, mean people, and so on. All because nobody can see what is going on with this INVISIBLE DISEASE.

Once the War comes to an end. You are able to focus on the "real world" and "reality" again and enjoy it. So yesterday I found myself enjoying and relaxing and most of all happy to be out in the real world seeing people I haven't seen in a long time. When I was exhausted and it was time for me to leave I then heard the words from my father-n-law and inside I found myself getting defensive and sort of feeling guilty. Guilty??? Can you believe it???? You just come home from "WAR" and you are finding yourself feeling guilty and trying to defend yourself.

I went to Walmart on Saturday night and passed the card section... I saw Father's day cards out and thought to myself... Why Father's Day card??? What happened to Mother's Day??? I seriously don't remember it. And now I feel the guilt of not celebrating Mother's Day with my kids but most of all not even celebrating with my Mom. I am desperately trying to figure out how to make that up to her. Again the "GUILT"

Anyways, that is what I spent time thinking about last night as I was trying to fall asleep. And decided to write about today. I don't know if this will even make sense to anyone but I had to empty out my brain.

Memorial Day!! And update to my Memorial Day Picnic and fishing!!!

A week ago Saturday I got my wish!!! My friend was able to buy the business and now I have a new boss. The first few days were rough because my "OLD"boss is trying to make my life miserable so I will quit. He is not going to win that battle. I worked 7 days straight. It is hard to believe the difference. The difference between working for my "old" boss made me so stressed and brought on so many MS symptoms and then working for my "New" boss hasn't brought on any symptoms. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the stress my "Old" boss is putting on me by trying to intimidate me is pretty stressful but I am trying to not let him phase me.

Yesterday I got off work at noon and was worn out so I took a nap and finished another cane and then my husband, youngest son, my current boss, and I went fishing. for a few hours. I love fishing!!! It is my relaxing time. Actually it is more that relaxing it is my "STRESS FREE" Space. I can completely let all stress and worries go when I am fishing.

So, Guess what I plan on doing all day today??? Yep you guessed it. I am going fishing. We have a family picnic today. I know it is going to be warm today so I will have my "MS cooler" with me. That will give me my ice packs when I need it along with my hat and water bottles. I usually carry those little Country Time lemonade packets to add to the water. However, I learned last night I definitely need to get bug spray. The mosquitoes came out with a vengeance. Out of nowhere the mosquitoes just went on the attack. We were covered in mosquito bites.

Tomorrow, I will stay home and finish the two canes and then probably just relax. I am feeling the soreness in my body and the drained brain today from this last week. So I will need to take the break tomorrow.


I have spent the last hours thinking about Memorial day and I want to thank all the heroes current and years past that have fought for our country. And to the family members of fallen heroes I am so sorry and very grateful for what your loved one did for our country.

Happy Memorial Day!

Most Wonderful Favorite Award

Rae at http://myweathervane.blogspot.com/
Has honored me with this Special Award. Rae knows already that if given the chance I would have given this award to her. I look forward to her postings everyday. She has a way of making me laugh every morning. She has some of the best ways to look at things. Congratulations Rae on winning this award. If you get the chance stop and view her blog. You will see what I see in her.

These are the rules in accepting this award:

Deliver this award to eight bloggers who then must choose eight more and include the following text into the award.

“These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.”

I would like to honor the following bloggers. As noted in the text above, my aim is to find them as friends. They have wonderful blogs. Please take some time and visit.

So I am passing this Award off to my "Most Wonderful Favorite"


Christine at http://seetiggerbounce.blogspot.com/

Myra at http://ahardlifeformydaughter.blogspot.com/

Taxingwoman at http://carolemsblog.blogspot.com/

Patrick at http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

Kimberly at http://myjourneywithms-kimberly.blogspot.com/

Kelley at http://kelleysmsblog.blogspot.com/

Amelia at http://talesoflifewithmultiplesclerosis.blogspot.com/

Brainfingers at http://brainfingers-ron.blogspot.com/

Congratulations to all of you and thank you for all your great blogs.

Real MS versus Fake MS Clarified

I need to start this by saying that even though I made reference to somebody's blog I read and that I was upset by what was said. I didn't mean to say that he was wrong in his thoughts. I do not point out and put links to someone's blog in question unless it is a positive reference.

I also need to explain that Patrick, who wrote the blog, has explained to me what he meant and what he was trying to say. He was referencing that he too has to defend questions why some people with MS have few symptoms while others like his wife have debilitating symptoms. He was also saying that Fellow MS'ers that are in the progressive stages don't have the ability to speak out like a lot of us can with Relapsing Remitting MS.

Yes, the way I read it made me upset NOT because he wrote it but because in having MS these are comments that are made all the time.

Examples:
1) My friend has had MS and she runs a mile everyday why aren't you getting out of bed and doing something.

2) I know someone with MS and he/she is unable to walk and is bedridden are the Doctors right with your diagnoses? Maybe you should see another Dr. There has to be a Dr. somewhere that can do a better job treating you.

3) Obviously your are on so many medications and they aren't helping so you should just stop them and do herbal meds instead.

I get very defensive towards these comments because my answers to these comments are "Do you think I like being stuck in bed watching life go by and missing spending FUN time with my kids? It took 6-7 months of non-stop testing to get this stupid diagnosis which if you knew anything at all... There are many Dr's that you have to see before getting a diagnosis. And lastly, I hate taking medications but I have tried stopping many times and when I stop them things get really bad. If I wasn't on all these medications that are helping me to live through the symptoms. And the shots that aren't a cure they are only to try to slow down the progression of MS and hopefully not have as many exacerbations which usually causes permanent damage. I would be in much worse shape."

He is only saying the same things that we say and expressing his frustrations and his wife's. They hear the same kinds of comments as well.

I personally love reading caregiver's points of view because it only makes me understand what they go through as well. Patrick writes a lot of very good blogs and I look forward to reading them more in the future.

To sum this up I think we MS'ers and caregivers as well are all fighting the same battles. The battle of this disease as well as the battle of trying to get people to understand more about MS. "MS Awareness"

Now that Patrick has commented on my first blog I will share his blog ID. As I was told that is what I am supposed to do. However, in the future I usually will only post the blog location if it is a positive thing.

http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/

Real MS verses Fake MS!!! Some people really think that way!!!

I just finished reading a Blog from a caregiver of a fellow MSer. In this blog it made me upset that this caregiver would write about how a lot of people with MS have lives, go on vacations, even have the ability to type on the computer. When his spouse can not do these things. Referencing that his Spouse has the "REAL MS" and the rest of us with MS have....I am only led to believe "Fake MS".

I thought about it for awhile because everyone is entitled to their own thoughts. That is what blogging is all about. However, it leads me to use this as a perfect example as to how MS affects everyone differently and at different speeds of progression and also how supporting someone with MS means understanding MS also.

I have many times gotten upset at how people don't understand what I am going through day to day because it is invisible on the outside most times. Hence the saying "BUT YOU LOOK SO GOOD" . I suffer in many ways all the time but I am also able to still be able to work (at times) and type however it takes me a long time to type a blog because my brain doesn't allow me to hit the keys or spell properly. I use spell check and I have to stop and save and come back so I can finish what I have to say. Sometimes I have my daughter come in and help me. Does that mean that the person that just gets diagnosed and has very few symptoms doesn't suffer with MS also. NO!!
They suffer maybe not to the extent of someone who can't get out of bed without assistance. We with MS know that the possibilities are there and we have to live each day knowing that our disease can progress to the point of not being able to work or go on vacations and so on.

It makes me think of something that I have explained to people that have gone through sexual abuse. Someone will know my story and say that they too were abused but only once or twice so they wern't as affected as me. That is so UNTRUE!!! It doesn't matter if you were abused once or for many many years. If you have been abused then you feel the same hurt and pain as me or the person that God for bid has had it even worse. We are all victims.

Which leads me to the same saying with MS. If you have it and I have it along with 200,000 other people with MS "WE ARE ALL VICTIMS". Is it fair that one person has an extremely fast progression or someone has very little progression or none at all. NO!! It is not fair at all but again we are all victims of the same disease.

I think this is the most frustrating part. I have a lot of respect for the caregivers of victims of MS and what they must go through. The frustration, the sadness and even the anger. I am sad to say that now that I have read this latest blog from a caregiver claiming that there is basically a "REAL MS" and that the rest is not the "REAL MS". It takes me back to my original thought that unless you have MS you will never truly understand. I would also say that if my Husband and caregiver (when I need it) was to ever say that or think that way about other MSers I would be very disappointed and angry with him and even embarrassed that he could feel that way. It is absolutely OK to be angry at the disease but I don't believe there is any excuse in being angry that not everyone with MS is as bad as someone else.

I need to end this by adding again that everyone is entitled to their views and opinions. I do not think this person is a bad person. Actually I like reading his blogs but I think there is many people that feel this way so I am just showing the other side.

POSITIVE JOURNAL ENTRIES FOR TODAY!
1) I got out of bed for the first time in 7 days and went to work. I only lasted four hours but I did it.

2) My daughter came to work with me and helped me so I could get done what needed done and I loved having her there with me.

3) My husband and caregiver has been so helpful and understanding throughout the last 4 months throughout this exacerbation. Especially at this moment I feel very blessed to his understanding. He may hate it but he understands it.

One Lovely Blog Award

Thank You Kimberly for giving me this award. Congratulations for receiving this award. You deserve it. You have no idea how much it meant getting this award today of all days. Lets just say you made my day.
http://stuffcouldalwaysbeworse.blogspot.com/2009/05/to-follow-up.html

Now it is time to pass this Award on to other deserving writers.

Rae at http://myweathervane.blogspot.com/
Rae makes me laugh everyday with her posts. Thank you for your humor and helping me start my day off in a good way.


Herrad at http://accessdenied-livingwithms.blogspot.com/

Herrad is such a caring person. She suffers with so many pains from Multiple Sclerosis but yet always takes the time to support others through her blogs.

Lanette at http://mylifeisachainreaction.blogspot.com/,
Lanette has opened up about her own life with MS and I think it takes a lot of guts to open up and talk about what it is like living with MS. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly!!! Thank You!!

Ellie Great at http://elliegreat.blogspot.com/
Ellie I am new at following your posts but you are so full of inspiration and I hope to see you go far with your dreams and inspirations.

Vaishu at http://galagaltalks.blogspot.com/
Vaishu with all the changes you are going through I think you deserve this award. Remember that change is good!!!

Kimberly at http://myjourneywithms-kimberly.blogspot.com/
I just started following Kimbely's Blog however if anyone is due this Award it is her. She has been journaling her day by day battle with MS as she has just gone through a major exacerbation and a decline in her MS health. She has just come home from rehab and all awhile in rehab she kept a wonderful dialog/journal. I respect and have great admiration for her even though I have just found her. Please take the time to read her journal/Blog

A Blah Kind Of Day!!!

Today has been a BLAH kind of day!!! I woke up with flu like symptoms and I am hearing really weird noises in my left ear along with twitching in my left eye. The twitches in my left eye have been going on for a few weeks now but until today it wasn't annoying. Now with the weird noise in my left ear and my eye and having flu like symptoms (which I think are really due to stress) I am getting frustrated. I wonder if hearing things and uncontrollable twitches in your eye are due to the MS or just some crazy thing my body is doing.

I am very stressed because I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow. According to my new Boss he thinks he takes over tomorrow and according to the current boss he thinks he has it through tomorrow. I really don't want to go back tomorrow to find out that he is still the boss. I have so much resentment for him but at the same time I am nervous that he will make some comment about how I wasn't there all week and then I will of course have to speak my mind. The way I feel right now I don't have it in me to argue my case so I am hoping to feel better by tomorrow. I would much rather go to work Saturday when I knew for sure who the owner of the business is.

I really wish I knew what was going on with me. It keeps depressing me to feel this bad. I need to start feeling better real soon. My legs aren't hurting today so that's a good thing. Ooops I should put that in my "Positive Journal". I think I might have to because I don't know if I can think of a whole lot of positive things today so I will be stretching again today.

I just had to come home from a meeting at my youngest son's school. They finally tested him for the IEP because we have suspected for a few years that he had some learning disabilities. However, even though you know something is not right. You are never prepared to walk in and have to listen to them talk about all the things your son is way below average on. It gets to be quite frustrating. The best part of it all is that after the negatives were all said out loud for 25 minutes. It was then brought up that he is the oldest in the class. Technically kids his age are graduating from 4th grade and he his getting out of 3rd grade. So he hasn't learned all the stuff that 4th graders have learned. When they compared him to his grade level he scored 1 point below average on Reading Spelling,Writing and Math. So he is not as bad as what they thought. So he does qualify for the IEP and the extra learning classes but he will probably graduate out of it in a year or two.

So now I am taking my meds since I couldn't do it all day because of the school meeting and Praying that I will feel better physically and mentally for tomorrow. No matter how much I dread going. I know deep in my heart that he is still running the show tomorrow.

Ok. My "Positive Journal" entries

1) My legs didn't hurt today - Hooray
2) All 3 of my children are healthy - Yeah!
3) Oh and I woke up to the sounds of all the birds chirping and singing!!! I love that sound.
4) And I just found out that I was give an Award from Kimberly at http://stuffcouldalwaysbeworse.blogspot.com/
I will need some time to go through my blogs and pick who I will be passing this Award on to. Thank You very much Kimberly

Sorry for the boring BLOG but that is kind of how my day has been. I need to feel better so I can go back to my more creative and helpful writing.

Choices??? Doing what is right for others or right for me???

It's been raining all day! I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible leg pains. I took my meds again, just 3 hours after my last dose. Just to take the pain away. I woke this morning at 6:30 hardly able to walk. I again took my meds and by 9:00 the pains were gone for about an hour, but that hour was great. I did all the laundry, the dishes, put all the pictures on one cane that I am working on and then BAM!!! Out of no where there came the pains again.

I have not been going to work this whole week and there is a lot of reasons behind that. As you remember I quit that job about 4 weeks ago due to the way I was being treated. Three days later my best friend at work had his mom pass away. I went back to work to cover for him. Without any thoughts of how I was being treated and why I quit. I just knew I had to help him out. He had been trying to buy the business from my current boss but it was taking awhile. I knew when I quit that when my freind bought the business I would come back to work for him. So I worked that week and after that we were starting to get busy and I knew he would need even more help so I stayed working just to help him out. It just happened that when I quit my current boss went balistic because he couldn't or didn't want to worry about this business since he already has another one that he owns and he needs to worry about that. Plus his own personal drama that he gets involved with. He approached my freind the same day that I quit, and told him if he wants to buy the business he needed to do it by May 1 so that he didn't have to deal with it. So when my freind's mom passed away my current boss was releived that I came back to help out.

After a few weeks I didn't know when the right time was to leave again because we were really busy and if I am not up front working the desk then he can't be back working on the equipment. So I continued to stay but it wasn't long before my current boss forgot that I was only there as a favor and started treating me like crap again, like talking about me behind my back (causing me a lot of stress once again). My freind is now buying the business and it is supposed to be this Friday/Saturday that it changes hands. However my current boss is dumping a lot of crap on me and then still treating me like crap, and talking about me.

As you all know this last week has been very bad for me and a lot of the reason is because of work. I love what I do, and I know that I do a good job but he talks about me like anybody can do my job. So I am taking these last few days while he is still the owner to recoop and feel better while of course he is panicing about getting his stuff done. I do and don't care at the same time. Part of me is wanting to take care of myself so I am ready to work hard when my freind buys it and the EVIL part of me is saying let my current boss suffer and do his own work since of course "Anyone can do my job". He has been calling me on and off today but I am not answering my phone. As far as I am concerned I was only there as a favor and don't deserve to be treated like this. So I am trying to decide when I should go back....Do I wait until the change over happens or do I go back and help my current boss finish up????

Since I have been home I have been dealing with my feelings and also starting to feel better. If I go back to help him out I know that I will get all worked up again. But I get stressed when I see him show up on the caller I.D also. So as I lay in bed I am trying to decide what to do?????????

I am goin to end this with my "Positive Journal" entries...
1) I was able to accomplish laundry, dishes, and a cane today... HOORAY!!
2) Besides my legs I am starting to feel a little better. YEAH!!
3) It made me so happy today sitting at my dresser staring at my beautiful 3 red roses my kids gave me for Mother's Day (representing my 3 kids).

O.K. so I am stretching my 3 "Positive" things for the day but the day isn't over so maybe as the day goes on I will have better ones to add.

My Mom!!! My Best Friend!!!

I was talking to my Mom yesterday telling her how bad I have been feeling and about all the pain. She said "I will never know what you feel and go through living a life with MS".

My Mom is an Awesome person. We didn't get along at all while I was growing up. Actually I would have to say that we probably both felt that we had to love each other because of being mom and daughter but I do think we had a bit of hate for each other. It is awful to admit but the truth to it is that we are so much alike.

When I turned around 23-25 things really started to change for us. We started to become best friends. We got to the point that we would talk everyday at least once a day if not more. It was like that all the way up til about 3 years ago when my life started to change from right before being diagnosed with MS. I was hit very hard with my first major exacerbation that lasted for 6 months all awhile the Doctors were running tests trying to find out what was wrong with me. Even though I was down for the count and I didn't have the energy to even talk on the phone let alone up for any company my Mom was there.

I think she felt as though she lost her friend. I wasn't calling her nor answering the phone. My husband was working but at the same time trying to learn how to be a single parent (homework, cleaning, cooking, etc...) My Mom was trying everything she could to be here for me and in a way I was pushing her away. I didn't mean to but I was scared and she was being the tough one for both of us. She was trying to fight this for me. Going through it was very tough on me. However, looking back she must have been going through hell. She didn't know what was going on with me and she knew it was serious. Any parent has a very hard time accepting that their child has a disease, no matter how young or old.

After the final diagnoses she is who I went to see first. I cried while she held me and told me we would get through this. She was right. We still don't talk everyday but we think about each other all the time and try to talk as often as we can. There are so many times that I will tell her something and she may not say what I want to hear but eventually usually she ends up being right. It does go both ways though. When she is having a hard time I may say something she may not like but I know in time she thinks about what I said and tries to apply it to what is going on. I want to believe that sometimes I am right.

So, after talking to Mom yesterday she told me that there isn't anything that she nor I can do to change what is going on with me but maybe there were some things I could do to help make me start to feel better.

1) start a "POSITIVE" journal - Either right 1-3 good things that happened each day or use pictures and make a collage. It doesn't have to be anything major.. For instance - A hummingbird came to my feeder it made me feel happy. or I planted some flowers in my garden today and it made me happy.

2) Do Yoga or go for a little walk some sort of relaxing exercise. I like yoga but I don't find it relaxing. I do find doing Sudoku relaxing and working on my canes. I also find fishing relaxing and kind of meditating but also gardening.

So I did just that. I went upstairs tearing up from the pain with all intention of just climbing into bed but instead started designing some of the canes that people have ordered. I watched a hummingbird sit at my feeder. Wings down and sat and rested there for 5 minutes. It was amazing to see something that small that has to work has hard has he does to survive actually take a 5 minute break. I then took a nap and when I woke up I watched some shows on TV with my daughter while the two boys were fishing and then I went to bed.

When I woke up this morning I called my Mom and told her what all I did yesterday even though it wasn't much and she said she could tell a difference in my attitude today. Not so down and out.

I guess no matter how old we get our Mom's will always be Mom's.

So today's positives in my journal are
1) I was able to get further on my canes.
2) I watched a bird bringing in nesting material into a birdhouse that my son and husband made me for my birthday a couple years ago.
3)I sat at the kitchen table with my three children and ate dinner with them instead of in my bed.

See it doesn't have to be huge it just has to be three positives.

Exacerbation or Pseudoexacerbation.....That is the Question!

I've known that I have been having an exacerbation for a few months now. I had chosen to not get the steroids because it was mostly affecting my intestines and my legs. I know I have stated over and over again that I experience very bad reactions to the steroids. So you know why I chose to ride this one out. My intestines recently have been starting to work on their own so I thought I was almost to the end. HOORAY!!

The last week has been awful. I have been having really bad bone pain not only in both of my legs but also in my hips and arms. I recently started sleeping much more. Sometimes up to 16 hours a day. And now my vision is doing crazy things. One second I am seeing in color and then it is pulsing to black and white. Not enough to make me nauseated. (Nausea is when I finally give in to the steroids). The pins and needles are back and the burning sensations along with the usual extreme muscle spasms. I also have been hearing sounds like a cottonball being squished together. So now I am wondering if I am really through this exacerbation or not.

This is what goes through my head....
I have had a lot of stress at work...My period should be here soon and that always makes my legs hurt worse... And it is the rainy season which again makes my bones hurt real bad. Maybe all these together is what is causing all these symptoms and it is not an exacerbation anymore it is just a pseudoexacerbation. (that is simply put...symptoms brought on by heat, stress, illness, etc. that go away and are not a real exacerbation) I call it a "Fake MS Attack".

I know that my Neuro usually decides if it is a exacerbation by seeing what are "NEW" symptoms. Either symptoms that I have never had or symptoms that don't come very often, or symptoms I have had but usually not as severe. So if I take this attack and look at it piece by piece, here goes the break down.

Intestinal shut down -Rare but becoming normal
Muscle Spasms - normal
Muscle spasms in both legs - Rare
Bone Pain - Rare but becoming normal
Prickling and burning symptoms - normal but not as often anymore
Bone pain in arms - NEW - Not happening constantly
vision color changes - NEW - Not happening constantly
Fatigue - Normal
Noises in my ears - NEW

As you can see I have a little of everything. And with the stress from work and the period coming and the rainy season... Who really knows. I don't want to call the Dr. because he will say you need the steroids. "There is nothing else. Either do the steroids or keep dealing with it". I know this sounds mean but there really isn't much more he can do to stop an MS exacerbation except the steroids.

Quick Book 2009??? Anyone use this???

I am trying to learn what ever I can about this program before D-Day this next Saturday. We never had a program at all this whole time we have been running this business in the past. I can't even install it at work to see how it all works and what all it can do. I have been stressing but I see all the positives about using this program. I called the library to see if they had any books about it. They said No but they could get it from the other libraries. one of them Happened to be
"Quickbooks 2009 For Dummies"!!!! Here we go again with the Dummies Books. At least I won't be learning how to have MS like the MS books for Dummies". I am wondering if it won't be better to buy the book then rent it from the library this way I can put little remarks on it. Has anyone ever used this program and if so how hard is it to get it up and running? Any suggestions????

A Tribute to Mother's Day! How did you Celebrate the Day!

I want to say Happy Mother's Day to every Mother today along with a bouquet of flowers.
I personally at the moment have NO plans for today. My kids keep asking what I want to do and in my head all I can think of is SLEEP. I have been so tired. It's not going to be that warm today. Usually we go fishing or do some gardening. So I am not sure how the day will go. My Mom is going to be walking around the zoo and parts of Chicago with my Sister. It sounds like a lot of fun but my legs have really been bad this week and I know that I wouldn't be able to go very far. So I will get together with her tomorrow morning and we will spend some time together.

I'd love to hear what everyone does for Mother's day? How did you celebrate the day?

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Pulling My hair Out!!! Not a Good Week! !!!

This week has been one of those pull your hair out and scream as loud as you can week's. First let me update that my daughter did get her license this week. Things have been so super crazy at work. Now that the sale of the business from one crazy and and sometimes mean but mostly just an ASS is almost over. Anyways so we are down to one week from today before this is over. Things are so crazy though because we need this to be a smooth transition so we don't upset customers however I have this feeling we are going to lose some during this mess. We can't do what our customers want done in a quick enough time due to the stuff that needs to be finished and finalized before this transition. We are in the process of getting accounts closed and except he keeps putting a halt on it. Then of course we need him to sign off so we can start but if he doesnt do this until Friday then explain to me how by Saturday morning (the craziest day of the week ever)we are supposed to be ready to start up. Plus we are trying to do this all the right way and using a new system that is really cool from what I can tell but it takes a lot of inputting and time however I can't start that til "Saturday" and it will take hours to set up and get ready to be up and running but Oh Well I guess we will just not be off to a good start and also we will piss off some customers in the meantime. No matter how I try to look at this I start pulling my hair out and my anxiety level is going crazy and then I still have to deal with by current boss who thinks I am nothing but has me doing everything. I want to quit this week and not go back in until next Saturday when all this is over because everyday that goes by I am getting more and more stressed and symptoms are getting worse. He is not worth me getting this stressed and having the symptoms get me down so bad that when the transition happens I will be in bed sick and not healthy for my new boss. The only things I am aloud to do is do stuff for the "ASS" and nothing to prepare for the transition. So basically I sit at work and walk around in circles accomplishing nothing. Yes I am making the current customers happy but that is for the "ASS" who doesn't care what his customers think. So why waste my time busting my ass to please them when I can't do anything for the rest of the clientele that is stuck waiting for 2 weeks before I can make them happy. They will leave and not come back. If I quit today I could work on setting up the program and getting the rest I need until we are ready next week. Nothing I do now is for my new boss only the "Ass" who talks bad about me and treats me like shit but expects me to do everything. If I quit today he would have to do everything on his own. And he wouldn't know where to begin. That would give me some satisfaction for a change.

I just wrote this in 5 minutes. It poured out of my brain. So I call this thinking out loud..... I will not go back and reread this because I will erase things and I don't want to. This is what is going on in my head right now.

The "Why ME" Syndrome!!! Very Good Information!!!

Carole at http://carolemsblog.blogspot.com/just reminded me of something I found very interesting. Thank You Carole!

"WHY ME SYNDROME"

When I was first diagnosed I went through a very long phase and I call it the "Why Me Syndrome" I could not figure out why out of my very large family, was I the one chosen for this disease? My family even said the same thing. No...Actually they said..."You can't have MS", or "Where did you get it from" or best yest..."Nobody in the family has it so how could you get it"????

Well, not too long ago in one of the many MS magazines I get in the mail. I found the answer to my questions and to my family's questions along with many people with MS.

The answer is that MS is an AUTOIMMUNE disease. Now you say "I already know that" but did you know that there are over 100 known Autoimmune diseases? Autoimmune diseases/disorders are hereditary in a lot of cases. There are always the few that get it for NO known reason. After seeing this list I know that it made a lot of sense to me why I would have a good possibility of getting an autoimmune disease/disorder. It also made me understand why my youngest son would also get and autoimmune disease. I will explain that one later.

I am just waiting for the next time that somebody in the family asks me again. Because almost everyone on both sides of my family loves to blame the other family as to how I got this disease.

Achlorhydra Autoimmune Active Chronic Hepatitis

Addison's Disease

Alopecia Areata

Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease)

Ankylosing Spondylitis

Anti-GBM Nephritis or anti-TBM Nephritis

Antiphospholipid Syndrome

Aplastic Anemia

Arthritis

Asthma

Atopic Allergy

Atopic Dermatitis

Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease (AIED)

Autoimmune Lymphoproliferative Syndrome (ALPS)

Balo Disease

Behcet's Disease

Berger's Disease (IgA Nephropathy)

Bullous Pemphigoid

Cardiomyopathy

Celiac Disease

Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS)

Churg Strauss Syndrome

Cicatricial Pemphigoid

Cogan's Syndrome

Cold Agglutunin Disease

Colitis

Cranial Arteritis

CREST Syndrome

Crohn's Disease

Cushing's Syndrome

Dego's Disease

Dermatitis

Dermatomyositis

Devic Disease

Diabetes, Type 1

Diabetes, Type 2

Dressler's Syndrome

Discoid Lupus

Eczema

Essential Mixed Cryoglobulinemia

Eosinophilic Fasciitis

Epidermolysis Bullosa Acquisita

Evan's Syndrome

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyositis

Fibrosing Alveolitis

Gastritis

Giant Cell Artertis

Glomerulonephritis

Goodpasture's Disease

Grave's Disease

Guillian-Barre Syndrome

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

Hemolytic Anemia

Henoch-Schonlein Purpura

Hepatitis

Hughes Syndrome

Idiopathic Adrenal Atrophy

Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis

Idiopathic Thrombocytopenia Purpura

Inflammatory Demylinating Polyneuropathy

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Kawasaki's Disease

Lichen Planus

Lou Gehrig's Disease

Lupoid Hepatitis

Lupus

Lyme Disease

Meniere's Disease

Mixed Connective Tissue Disease

Multiple Myeloma

Multiple Sclerosis

Myasthenia Gravis

Myositis

Ocular Cicatricial Pemphigoid

Osteoporosis

Pars Planitis

Pemphigus Vulgaris

Polyglandular Autoimmune Syndromes

Polymyalgia Rheumatica (PMR)

Polymyositis

Primary Biliary Cirrhois

Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis

Psoriasis

Raynaud's Phenomenon

Reiter's Syndrome

Rheumatic Fever

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Sarcoidosis

Scleritis

Scleroderma

Sjogren's Syndrome

Sticky Blood Syndrome

Still's Disease

Stiff Man Syndrome

Sydenham Chorea

Systemic Lupus Erythmatosis (SLE)

Takayasu's Arteritis

Temporal Arteritis

Ulcerative Colitis

Vasculitis

Vitiligo

Wegener's Granulomatosis

Wilson's Syndrome

Now who doesn't have a family member that doesn't have at least one of these???

The list was found at this link
http://www.squidoo.com/list_of_autoimmune_diseases

Pain in my bones and tendons!!! Is it MS, Fibro, or something else???

Who needs a "Weather Man" to forecast rain or snow????

I don't know what it is but I can tell about 15-24 hours ahead of the weather if it is going to rain or snow.

I will have my normal spasticity in my legs and back every day but about 15-24 hours before the weather is going to get bad I start to have tendon pain (different then the muscle pains) and bone pain. In my legs and hips. It is weird but true. I went to the Doctor last fall after almost not being able to walk and she said she thought it was Fibromyalgia. I questioned her and said what makes you say that? Couldn't it be the MS and she never really gave me an answer. I though it might even be arthritis. She stuck with Fibro. Now granted she is my Primary Physician not my Neurologist.

As I am stuck in bed because of the pains in my bones and tendons due to a weather system coming our way. Could anyone please help me with this? Does anyone have MS and bone and tendon pain very severe when the weather is going to change? Or does it sound like the Dr. is right on this answer?

Oh my gosh! I just found this.... take the time to click on the part that says"What is the stupidest thing someone has said to you about MS?"
http://ms.about.com/b/2009/05/05/what-do-people-know-about-multiple-sclerosis.htm

Being a Parent with MS and Raising Kids...The beginning of a 3 part story!

This is going to be a 3 part story of being a parent with MS and raising children.

Being a parent alone can be stressful enough to bring on MS symptoms but sometimes it can be enough to bring on an exacerbation but sometimes it also can be traumatic enough to take away your symptoms and exacerbation's.

PART 1
My Daughter
As a parent of 3 children, I can honestly say that raising kids can be very tough. Having MS and being a parent can be even harder. I know that every family has their own difficulties and problems along with good times. At the moment I am seeing and feeling a lot of different emotions for each child.

My oldest daughter is 16.5 years old. She is beautiful, strong, funny, and very smart. I know there is a difference in being book smart and street smart. She is both. When she was born she was the most perfect baby. Until she hit about 3. Her and I became arch enemies. She was stubborn and mean. All I could think is that we were going to have the longest and most stressed relationship until she would finally be old enough to move out. At about the age of 7 or 8 she changed and maybe so did I. We became very close. It's weird because I know that parents are supposed to be parents and not friends with their children But her and I have both. Over the years we have an extremely open relationship and yet I still am Mom when I need to be. Once kids become teenagers you have so many worries and concerns. Different then the ones you have when kids are younger. Last year she was in a horrible accident. One of those accidents that nobody should have lived through. I faced the scariest moment of my life. She walked away with a few minor injuries and a concussion. She also suffered a lot of post traumatic stress and post concusional stress disorder that has stayed with her until recently. Of course all this happened just 3 weeks before her 16th birthday which of course she didn't even celebrate.

The day she got in the accident it was the first day off my 5 day I.V. steroid treatment for a massive exacerbation. I hadn't slept in 4 days. I was swollen beyond belief. I spent the next 4 days sleeping next to her at home and in the hospital. Mostly I would have to say that I wasn't sleeping I was just laying there staring at what was almost taken away from me. Of course the stress from all of this did not help in the recovery of my exacerbation but in away I think it kind of did. Yes I was a mess from the attack but also facing the biggest fear as a parent. The fear I believe also released my adrenalin. Helping me to be strong for her and be there for her. Without stopping and taking care of me. Who would?? In my eyes in a situation like this my kids will always come first. Normally after a steroid treatment of 5 days..I would be down for the count for another 2-3 weeks recovering from the attack but also the side effects of the attack. But this was different. My adrenalin helped me to be there for her 24/7 and her friends that were constantly at the house for the next 2 weeks. I would throw sloppy joes or other things like that in the crock pot and put chips out so the kids could eat when they wanted to. My daughter was kind of in a dazed state and wasn't eating very much. Those kids helped me do errands so that I could lay down and rest (of course right next to her) I even would go into work for 2 or 3 hours when I could. Of course this is very not normal for me after steroid treatments and an attack from hell. It does make me wonder though.... Is there something in Adrenalin that Scientists could make that could help with treating MS Exacerbation's? or better yet help with curing MS????

It now is 7 months later and she hasn't quite decided yet if she even wants her license. As of today she had driven the required hours that the State of Illinois requires before allowing to get their license. I came home from work today wondering if she would ask to go but she didn't. She still hasn't filled out the paperwork. I sit here in bed wondering if she will do it soon or continue to put it off. I can see the nervousness in her when we even bring it up. Up until 2 weeks ago she didn't ever want to get her license. We faced her fears by taking her to the scene of the accident which she had never gone to see. Since that day she has returned to her normal self and isn't letting the fear and memories control her anymore.
I would be lying though if I didn't admit that I am nervous as hell knowing that she could be driving any day now. I am so scared of ever reliving that day again. But there is nobody more scared of that then my daughter.

Oddly enough... As I am just finishing this Part 1 of my story. My Daughter just came upstairs with some of her paperwork and is filling it out right now.

The Golden Heart Award!!!

This Award was given to me today from aMusings
http://amusingsblog.blogspot.com/
I want to Thank you for giving me for this award. As you really really are deserve of this award. If you get the chance take the time to read her blogs.

This Award was given to me also today from Sweet Randomness In Life
http://galagaltalks.blogspot.com/
I want to thank you for giving me this award. You also deserved this award and Congratulations on Winning it yourself.



Now it is time for me to pass this Award on to other deserving people.

Rae A.K.A. Weather**Vane** Is extremely deserving of this award. I know that she has been given this award before and this only shows how deserving she is.
http://myweathervane.blogspot.com/

Brain Cheese always seems to have great topics to read. And I feel is very deserving of this award.

http://brain-cheese.blogspot.com/

Lisa at Brass and Ivory has spent so much time and effort along with energy finding so much information for fellow MS'ers. I also have found that on those really bad days she always takes the time to give you some encouragement.
http://brassandivory.blogspot.com/

Carole at Carole MS Blog is another writer that I enjoy reading her blogs. I feel is very deserving of this award.
http://carolemsblog.blogspot.com/

AWB at Jughead's Baltimore Blog is another well deserving winner of this Award.
I can't express how many times I have been able to relate or just get a laugh out of his Blogs
http://jugheadsbaltimoreblog.blogspot.com/


Pass this Golden Heart Award to 5 blogs that mean something to you, and do not forget to tell them they got this treat. And include the picture in your blog.

Please do not forget to mention who nominated you.

"Good Days", "O.K. Days", "Bad Days", and "Really Bad Days"??????

Well, I laid down for just a few minutes and then decided to go ahead and go shopping for some plants for me to do tomorrow. I was working on some canes and I just now laid down for the night. I know I over did it. My leg muscles are rolling so I will get as much sleep as possible and then hopefully have the energy to get done all that I plan to get done. All in all today was a "GOOD DAY"

If you are newly diagnosed or going through the diagnoses or even if you have been diagnosed for a very long time. It is the same for all of us.

We have "Good Days", "O.K. Days", "Bad Days", and "Really Bad Days"

"GOOD DAYS"
We all will have days that we feel pretty good and a rush of energy. I don't mean that everyone with MS will get out of bed and run a marathon. We have days where we may have energy to get outside and do work we normally don't have the energy to do or ability to do or housework or maybe if you have been sleeping many hours of the day and in a lot of pain. All of a sudden you stay awake for a longer period of time that day or spend time talking to friends or relatives. No matter what stage we all have what we consider to be a "Good Day".

"O.K. DAYS"
Then there is the other type of day where you get some things done and then spend the rest of the day laying down or sleeping the day away. Those days are called "O.K. Days!

"Bad Days"
Bad Days are the days when we hurt so bad we want to cry in pain. With no medications to help. Or we have uncontrollable bladder/bowels problems. Sometimes we have times that we can't see well or at all. Or my favorites... The balance is so bad that you practically fall every step you take or the vertigo is so bad that you want to vomit. And all you want to do is sleep and you can't because if you close your eyes everything starts spinning again.

"Really Bad Days"
I don't know if I even have to explain this one but at this point generally we are begging the Dr's for help and most likely ending up on the steroids.

Now that you know my definitions of days then you can all understand that today was considered a "Good Day" and that will explain why I overdo and overdo on these kinds of days.

What kind of Day was yours???

Just living in the moment today!!!

Today I woke up and it is just beautiful outside. The sun is shining bright and the temperature is only in the 60's so it is not too hot for me. My family and I went for a morning walk through the woods in our back yard and found Morel Mushrooms. The funny thing is we find them every year but too afraid to cook them up and eat them.

I just decided to lay down for awhile. My back has been spasming so much lately and so have my legs so the family walk was worth more to me then exhausting 1 hour planting but I am hoping that tomorrow will be like today and while the kids are in school I can get outside and do some planting. Maybe later I'll go to the nursery and get the plants and that will force me to get out there.

I have had some orders for canes and are really exciting themes to do. So I probably will be working on those also today and tomorrow as I will be working the rest of the week.

Anyways not a lot too report and I haven't come up with any new topics to right about. My brain must be having a brain fart. But as you know I will all of a sudden post 4 in one day when my brain is on overload. This week has definitely had its ups and downs and stressful times but today I am calm and just living in the moment. Oh but my youngest son has pink eye so we are dealing with that and then my middle son woke up with the chills , coughing and probably a fever but my thermometer is broke I think. It read 93.2 degrees???? What do you think???? Well, I am just hoping its not the crazy "swine" flu. With our luck as a family it probably is. If it is then I will have a lot to report to you this week.

Anyways I am hoping everyone is out enjoying the weekend!!!

It's a new day!

It is the start of a new month. Happy May Day to everyone!

I am up early and the Sun is about to come up. we haven't really seen the sun this whole week. It has been raining nonstop! I walked past the window to see a hummingbird at the feeder.

My attitude is better than yesterday. The pain in my hip, back and bones in my legs are still here. They probably will be here for a few days and then hopefully it will get better.

I will try to get ready for work and work a few hours today and just play it by ear as to how long I stay.